The Making of Husbands

Dan and I (Amy) know we are raising young men who will become co-workers, friends, boyfriends, husbands, and fathers. We take this seriously because someone will have to live with them eventually, and if we get this right, they won't move back in with us.  This is assuming that Hunter Syndrome treatment progresses and our boys do this well too, but we believe this will happen with hard work.

Mission #1: Raise them to be kind and polite

I brought groceries home today, and Nick greeted me at the door with a huge smile.  He said:

"Thank you so much Mom! Great job! You bought these for me? Can I give you a hug? "

He proceeded to open each bag as if they were presents.  He opened a bag with two rotisserie chickens...

"You bought chicken for me, Mom!  Thank you so much! I love these, these are my favorite!"

Oops, I bought two that was a mistake.

"It's OK, Mom. Don't worry about it.  Can I give you a hug and a kiss?" 

"Dad, look shaving creme.  Mom bought you shaving creme.  Hug Mom, Dad, give her a hug.  Now say thank you. Now you're supposed to say you're welcome.  Look Dad, Mom bought your favorite drink.  Give her a hug. Thank you Mom, thank you!"

Don't you wish you were greeted with groceries like that? After you've dealt with mad, resting grumpy face, grocery store shoppers who are mad that it's snowing, AGAIN, and to be greeted like that by Nick is just awesome, really awesome!

Alex also used to cry at daycare if someone else didn't have a milk, and he did.  Jack also has a special place in his heart for special needs kids, and goes out of his way to help them at school.

Of course they're not perfect, but they're doing pretty well in this department.  Always room for improvement though.

Mission #2: Mind your basics

These are the don't smell like a turtle, always put the toilet (lou) seat down (which they do!!), brush your teeth always...just don't emit any gross smells. If you have to, do it in privacy, and for goodness sake don't emit them on anyone and laugh about it, it's not funny.  We know at this point you like to laugh about farts, and it's a struggle to get you to wash yourself but you'll get better with time.  Good job on the toilet seat though keep it up, well down.  

Mission #3: Be confident, and be you.

At this point, we are thinking it would not bother us if you decided to wear a mohawk, or brush all your hair in your face like vintage Justin Beiber, or dye your hair purple, we'd be fine and proud of you, and we promise to never be embarrassed about it.  We haven't had to test this theory yet, but we're thinking this is how we'd react and how we'd respond.  We do think you are all really, really handsome, which just writing that will probably make you tattoo something across your forehead (should we write this, it might be planting a seed),  pierce something or dye something so just forget we said that and wrote it.  

We won't let you be anything but you.  We won't let you act like something else, or pretend to be someone else.  If you feel strongly about something express your opinion, if you think something is wrong, say it.  Find your niche, your thing, be you.  

Mission #4: Use adversity to strengthen you

Don't let your struggles define you or your failures set you back, learn from them and move on. Failure is a necessary part of succeeding. You have big challenges that you're dealing with right now, and we are in awe of how brave you are, how strong you are, and how you deal with the hardest of things.  The world will sometimes feel very small and your failure will feel very big, but we promise you there's a big, wide world out there for your taking.  You might be upset that someone is mean to you but this is just one person in millions, this is just one small town in millions, one country in hundreds.  If you embrace other cultures, countries, you'll realize how small the views and issues around you are, and realize some things are just temporary, and not the biggest thing happening to someone in the world right now.  Use your struggle to pull yourself up, we'll be right there with you.

Mission #5: Find something that gives you great joy, builds your character and leadership qualities

Try being an athlete, an artist, or a musician.  Seek out things that can showcase your talents, teach you hard work, and to work as a team or an individual.  Find things that teach you about losing and winning, and how both feel.  Be the best you, you can be.  Find things that make your heart flutter, and make nerves in the pit of your stomach as you push yourself outside your comfort zone.  Be a leader even when you're not the Captain or the appointed leader, always act like one.

Seeing that you're only 4, 6, and 9, that's enough of a mission for now.  We love seeing you guys grow, and become these great, little people.  We'll do everything we can to fight for you, now make sure you do your part.

Love,

Your fans, Mom and Dad